Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

Table of contents

1. Preface

2. Main Article

3. OMFS World

4. Stuff (App, Gear)

Preface

Our apartment here has brought several changes into our day-to-day life. Let’s point out two:

👩‍🍳 First - we finally have a dishwasher. It may shock some of you, but we didn’t have a dishwasher back home. It didn’t bother us so much in the past, but with kids in the equation, the pile of dishes became a nuisance. So after spending quality time with our new dishwashing friend, we're hooked. It’s funny how our temporary 100-year-old apartment has taught us about modern life.

🚽 Second - we have a single-joint bathroom and toilet. This is a substantial downgrade from having them separate back home. Although having one toilet wasn’t convenient, the fact that they were separate made all the difference. Coming here, we had to make some sacrifices, and the bathroom situation is one of them. Before we shower, we must double-check that none of the kids have imminent toilet business. And you always hope that your trip to the bathroom won’t end in a hysterical knock on the door of “I have an urgent pee!!”. It isn't very pleasant, but I’m sure it will be a funny memory we will have as a family.

Today we will talk about how embracing feedback can change your life, as it changed mine.

Enjoy number 22!

Main Article 

“If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.” — Chinese Proverb

Storytime!!!

At 17, I wanted to become a first-aid teacher. So I left home for three weeks and attended my first-ever teaching training.

Little have I known how this choice would profoundly impact who I am today.

Aside from learning the necessary skills, this training included repetitive simulations.

These simulations involved lecturing in front of your classmates about a first-aid subject. After you’re done, you have to sit quietly in a circle while each of your 20 classmates gives you feedback. One positive feedback, one negative feedback, and no repeating the same feedback twice.

In short, I had to sit and listen to 20 bad things I just did and keep quiet.

Do you know that choking sensation in your throat, the one that you have when you want to burst into tears? I had it all the time. In no way was I in a state of embracing feedback. But I remained composed, and with time, I got used to hearing feedback day in and day out. It made me a better teacher. Fast.

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” — Elbert Hubbard

Fast forward five years, and I’m now 22.

I started working as an SAT (psychometric) instructor. By then, I already had intensive teaching experience. It included thousands of teaching hours and assuming the head instructor position, twice. I was confident that I could deal with feedback better than before.

How wrong I was.

This company had the students fill out in-depth anonymous feedback forms. Students’ anonymous feedback is very different from peers’ feedback. It is raw and direct. My scores were pretty good (around 80-85%), but the remaining 15-20% of the feedback was harsh.

My initial reaction was to make excuses. Don’t get me wrong, my satisfaction rates were pretty high, ranked among the top 20% of instructors. But I was so used to positive feedback, I thought I knew everything.

After a few years, something changed.

At 25, with 10,000 teaching hours under my belt, I finally embraced EVERY SINGLE negative feedback. I built on each feedback piece and ensured no one would ever have a similar negative experience.

“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” — Norman Vincent Peale

My satisfaction scores skyrocketed.

As a result, my students’ confidence in me was immense, and I guided them to reach “impossible” goals.

The mindset that EVERY FEEDBACK you get is ALWAYS 100% CORRECTresonated with me. It allowed me to achieve excellence as a teacher and apply it to other areas of my life.

But GIVING feedback was a whole different story.

Since 18, I have assumed leading positions involving giving others feedback. However, I could only guide people to achieve skills AS GOOD AS mine, but never more. It was definitely enough for mentoring people who were less experienced than me, but I felt limited.

Fast forward 14 years.

At 32, I have 15,000 teaching hours under my belt, and I began seeing things differently. It may have been my age, my confidence in my abilities, or both.

I started to bring students and peers to a point where they became better than me

“The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.” —Mark Van Doren

And you know what the best part was? I was proud when they succeeded where I had failed. I was delighted whenever the tools I gave them allowed them to accomplish more than I ever did.

Today, when I’m looking back at that 17-year-old kid, who just left home for three weeks to become a first aid instructor, I wish I could have told him what I know today.

So 25 years later, I hope this newsletter will find him.

​

Let’s recap our take-home messages:

• Feedback is ALWAYS correct. The sooner you accept it, the faster you will grow.

• First step: focus on accepting feedback. This is the toughest step. In the beginning, you will feel the urge to resist. Keep quiet, remain composed, and smile if possible.

• Second step - focus on embracing ALL feedback, no exceptions. After a while, you will get used to it, and it will no longer make you feel bad. You will get better at what you do, and your feedback will become more positive.

• Third step - you’re in a dangerous place right now. Your feedback is mostly good, so you will again resist negative feedback. Remember, negative feedback may be rare because people feel uncomfortable sharing it with you. So you have to invite negative feedback! This is the separator between being good and outstanding.

• Final step - work on the way you’re giving feedback. Rule #1: Speak the truth, and only the truth. Rule #2: The sandwich rule. Start with pointing out a positive aspect, discuss the less pleasant aspect, and finish with a positive one. Rule #3: Follow up on your feedback. Text that person a few days later to see how it went.

OMFS World

🥼For the OMFS resident - You should seek feedback as second nature. Even the most experienced surgeons benefit from the wisdom of their peers. Don't let the busy schedule hold you back! There will always be time constraints, and your mentors will always have another obligation to attend. However, taking 30 seconds to get feedback and actively requesting it will turn you from a good surgeon into an exceptional surgeon.

🩺For the non-MD medical professional - Febrile seizures, also known as febrile convulsions, are common among young children. A febrile seizure is related to fever and generally occurs in children ages six months to 5 years old. They can last a few seconds to several minutes, and once you rule out other causes, there is no reason for concern. Causes that require attention are signs of meningitis, previous afebrile (not during fever) seizure, and electrolyte imbalance.

Stuff

📱Application I use - The Hemingway free writing app will help you improve the readability of your writing. I use it to break sentences in two, minimize passive tense, and consider less complex wording. But remember, it is not intended to correct your grammar or syntax!

💡Gear I use - Streamlight Stylus Pro is a reliable and practical flashlight. A flashlight is a must-have for every OMF surgeon, and due to the nature of our profession, it will be dropped, smashed, and disinfected with alcohol. This flashlight will withstand all these and is ideal for carrying around in your scrubs pocket. I’ve been using the same flashlight for five years, and it has survived residency, medical school, and fellowship.

Epilogue 

That’s it for this issue.

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Have a great weekend!

Shay